Archives for posts with tag: motherhood

Ah Lo wakes up the tiger in me. People often asked me if I am a tiger mom, and some even told me I am one before I can answer. With Dai Bee, I don’t have to be one. He works independently, and I am very hands off. I support him whatever he needs, and that’s about it.

With Ah Lo, the tiger can no longer rest still. I need to be fully awake to check homework, meet with teachers, help study for tests, monitor his progress, remind him to practice piano (and to sit in just to make sure he does the required time). Above everything else, dealing with the pre-teen attitude. I don’t necessary believe the tiger parenting. It works for some kids only, not Ah Lo. Nevertheless, he needs a lot reminders, discipline and lots of reasoning and explanation. I want to be a doting nurturing parent and hate to be that person who constantly nags and wears a frown. Knowing him, I have to play both roles. Ever since he was a toddler, Ah Lo likes to test his limits. He can be the most lovable kid but can be one of those who will blow off the roof for no reason.

Lately, I’ve been stashing a lot of patience in my bag because Ah Lo has been draining it pretty quickly these days. I tried my best to stay calm though I can feel the blood boiling inside of me. I already foresee the battle ahead of me, and am not looking forward to it. This is the only beginning…

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Though not their first time on public transportation, this is the first time taking bus on their own.  In the past, when I enrolled the boys to summer camps, one of my deciding factor for the camp is to figure out how to get them there. I often have to work around my schedule to accommodate transporting them to the destination.

This year when I signed up the boys for this camp few months ago, I thought maybe it’s time for them to take the bus.For the most part, they were pretty lucky this week to get rides from uncles to and back. Of course when the time came, I was very nervous. On the first day, I took the bus with them. Though not their first time on public transportation, this is the first time taking bus on their own.  No phones or books, so they can always stay alert with their surroundings. Mr. Piggy gave Dai Bee a phone so he can text/call me when he gets to school. Clearly, they were ready all along. It was just me, who wasn’t.

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Today, my co-worker and I had a long talk about letting go. She has a teenager now, and with just one, it’s extremely for her to let go. She’s going through an emotional roller coaster ride with her moody teenager. Her daughter was all she has, and she finds it extremely difficult to see the big change, in personality and life style.

At that point, I realized as a parent, raising children requires us to constantly letting go. I think I (as a parent) should be used to it by now. Don’t you think? From the moment a parent breastfeed her child to giving him solid food a year later, from driving them to places to having them take public transportation, or from making their meals to having them doing it on their own, it’s all part of the letting go process. As my boys get older, each step they take towards adulthood makes a little bit harder for me to hold on to them. Though each milestone is a celebration, the “firsts” are always bittersweet. In some way, that’s the irony about being a parent – how I always want to train our kids to become independent, yet we still want to slow down the time, so we can always hold them like a baby once again.

This is one of the more relaxing Mother’s Day as long as I remembered. In the past, I am always the one planning for activities for Mother’s Day (for my side). It’s normally an all day event where I have to coordinate with everyone. From getting a place to the ensure a balanced food list, it’s quite a hassle (not to mention finding a restaurant that will house so many of us for dinner). With everyone’s weekend extracurriculars, I find it even more difficult to gather everyone. Year after year, I realized I don’t really get to enjoy some time off. This year, I decided not to do anything. Just sit back and relax.

I took the boys to play at a senior home during the day. Both played piano this time. Dai Bee also brought his violin (unwillingly) to play. He really hates to perform. However, when I told him to play 1 minute (an excerpt from any piece he’s been practicing). He ended up playing the 5-minute piece, followed by a long  applause by one of the elders.

For Mr. Piggy’s family, the sisters decided to celebrate Mother’s Day on the same day as my side which means Mr. Piggy and I have to be in different places. For my side, after everyone went out of her way to veto my idea of having Indian food for mother’s day dinner, we did potluck for dinner. This is how I want to spend my weekend.

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My granny nanny recently admitted to a senior home. After a couple of falls, doctors from hospital and rehab center all agree she can no longer live by herself.  On paper, she’s 110. In real life, she’s pretty close to 100. No diet restrictions and still sharp as a razor, she’s pretty amazing for her age. Looking around the senior home, she seems to be the healthiest one there!

The doctor told us after the recent fall, her balance is a bit off. In a way, I’m glad she’s residing in a senior home now. She’s been living by herself for some time now. Besides the 24/7 care, there’s definitely more social interaction now in her life. We will frequent more in the coming days to help her acclimate her new environment.

Today, I brought my boys to visit her. I had Dai Bee play piano at the senior home (with consent by nurses). Of course, he was hesitant at first. I encourage (more like forced) him to play. After a push and a nudge, the nursing home was filled with Chopin’s music. All the nurses and workers peeped in their heads to check where the music came from. He doesn’t enjoy the spotlight at all. I often tell him he has a special gift to play music. And that he should be proud of this gift, which sometimes can bring joy to others.

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Interrupted the boys on their computer time to get some help with wrapping the dumplings. No pouting or moaning, just jumped right into it. As I listened to them discussing the different ways of building something in the MineCraft world, I felt so lucky to be there with them. Though I can’t really join their conversation, but just watching them, helping out, chatting, giggling, healthy and happy, is all that any mother would want to see. I’m truly blessed.

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Ah Lo to Dai Bee: “She’s our perfect mom…”

Dai Bee back to Ah Lo: “Nobody is perfect, so she’s not perfect, she’s a good mom, just not perfect…”

Ah Lo: “But still, she tries to be perfect…because she lets us do most of the stuff we want.”

Dai Bee: “I know, that’s why she’s a good mom. Nobody is perfect.”

Ok, we now know who the sweet talker is…

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-Amen!

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“Today I am thankful for some quiet time…”